


for evermore

by sanktaleksandr



Series: golden like daylight [1]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Smut, Sturmling, darkolai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28046250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanktaleksandr/pseuds/sanktaleksandr
Summary: It happened slowly, then all at once.
Relationships: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Nikolai Lantsov
Series: golden like daylight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069493
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	for evermore

It happened slowly, then all at once.

Neither of them could remember how or when it had started. Had it all begun before they had even become allies? Or had it begun after they had realised they weren’t so different after all? They didn’t know the answer.

As they laid side by side in a shared bed, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears through the night, they found it didn’t matter.

\---

Aleksander had despised the _otkatzat’sya_ for as long as he could remember. Especially the Lantsovs, that endless line of useless kings who were always handed everything and never seemed to be interested in working to benefit their country, only to benefit themselves. Maybe that was why the _sobachka_ , had been able to escape his notice initially.

But he sure as hell had caught Aleksander’s attention when he had managed to deceive him, parading as the fox-faced pirate (or privateer, as he would say) Sturmhond. Aleksander had been furious, not only because of the _sobachka_ and his betraying lot, but he had also been mad at himself. How had he been so careless? Had he truly been so arrogant as to trust a pirate without any reservations? Looking back it seemed ridiculous how easily he had let himself be fooled. From that moment on Aleksander had made sure to keep his eye on the _sobachka_.

And Aleksander had made sure to punish the _sobachka_ for his betrayal. Had he taken pleasure in punishing him? He couldn’t remember. Whether he had or not, it hadn’t been long lasting for he had been surprised yet again.

\---

The Darkling had commanded the Second Army ever since Nikolai had even been born. Growing up Nikolai had heard numerous whispers and rumours about the infamous commander, each solidifying his ruthless and powerful image in Nikolai’s head. It hadn’t been until Nikolai was seven that he actually saw the man for the first time. Like everyone else, Nikolai had been struck by his young exterior. Still, every inch of the man had exuded power and danger and young Nikolai had been utterly impressed.

During his years in court Nikolai had never changed anything more than a few occasional greetings with the Darkling, so his first actual meeting with him came on board the _Volkovolny_. While the Darkling hadn’t seemingly changed at all, Nikolai had changed plenty. He had served in the military, began his career as a privateer, seen the world outside the sheltered walls of the Grand Palace and experienced so many things from real loss to real companionship – not to mention the change on the outside.

As the Darkling occupied Nikolai’s rooms on board the _Volkovolny_ , Nikolai had actually experienced his ruthlessness. After their meeting, the whispers and rumours were no longer whispers and rumours, but reality. Nikolai had welcomed the chance to get to know his opponent. And maybe some parts of Nikolai had admired that ruthlessness and determination even then.

Nikolai had played his cards as carefully as anyone in his position could have. Still, he had paid a steep price for the moves he had made.

\---

When they returned from the Fold, Aleksander had changed too. The losses he had experienced weighed heavily in his mind, giving him a slightly different outlook on things. His position was no longer the same either. The change on the outside however, was over soon, for vanity was something Aleksander had not been able to shed in his long years, and it was not going anywhere this time either. Most other parts of him remained unchanged as well: he still wished to protect the grisha and keep Ravka from collapsing. And he found himself still enjoying an extra spoonful of sugar in his porridge.

\---

Nikolai had been greatly surprised by the Darkling’s willingness to cooperate. The Darkling had rid Nikolai of the condition he had inflicted upon him without so much as a word which had definitely been a strong start. Nikolai had anticipated that he would be as great an ally as he had been a foe, and so he had quickly worked his way up to a position beside the Triumvirate. (The Triumvirate wasn’t too happy about it but they tolerated it – they had to admit that having the Darkling on their team certainly wasn’t a disadvantage. Besides, they trusted Nikolai if nothing else.)

Their cooperation wasn’t all smooth sailing by any means. The Darkling’s suggestions were as ruthless and violent as they had ever been and that was a cause for an endless amount of arguments. Still, most of his ideas made valuable additions.

\---

Maybe it had started then.

It didn’t take long for Aleksander to recognize that he and Nikolai had the same goals. He enjoyed having Nikolai’s cleverness on his side. Then he noticed enjoying having just Nikolai by his side.

They wound up spending a lot of time working together. Nikolai as a companion was every bit as challenging as he was entertaining and Aleksander relished that. He was so used to the _otkatzat’sya_ being dull and fleeting figures that in comparison Nikolai burned bright like a sun. Unlike his predecessors, the young king didn’t take anything for granted and worked as hard as he could to benefit his country, which was something that indeed impressed Aleksander.

Of course Aleksander wasn’t blind either. Nikolai was more than pleasing to look at. Even though it wasn’t anything new, it was a nice addition, definitely something Aleksander could appreciate. 

\---

Maybe it had started then.

It didn’t take long for Nikolai to recognize that the Darkling had the same goals as him. He enjoyed having the Darkling’s insight and experience on his side – after all no one had quite as much of it as him. His ruthlessness and determination also came in handy from time to time. Soon he noticed enjoying just having the man by his side.

As they wound up spending a lot of time working together Nikolai found himself more and more fascinated by the mysterious man. Even though Nikolai was surrounded by people with interesting stories, none of them were quite as interesting as the Darkling’s. Nikolai found himself wishing he could uncover all of his stories.

And of course Nikolai wasn’t blind either. The Darkling in his former glorious exterior was truly a sight for sore eyes and Nikolai had a newfound appreciation for it.

\---

Aleksander had always been good at reading people. He knew he wasn’t the only one feeling the way he was.

\---

Since coming back the Darkling had taken up residence in his old quarters at the Little Palace. Zoya had initially resisted it, of course, but after some negotiations they had managed to come to a solution that pleased everyone involved. Although the Darkling worked with Nikolai (and the Triumvirate) on various matters he had once again concentrated most of his efforts on the Second Army, and as such, spent most of his time at the Little Palace.

Nikolai would usually visit him there a couple of times a week. They would often take walks around the grounds surrounding the building, checking on the training grisha and then retreating to the Darkling’s study to discuss different kinds of matters.

Nikolai had grown fond of those visits. Calling them easy would be wrong – they were far from easy. But they weren’t unpleasant either. Instead of the hostile back and forth of enemies it had once been, their banter was almost affectionate. There was something about being alone with the Darkling that Nikolai enjoyed thoroughly. Maybe it was the way the Darkling was somehow less reserved when it was just the two of them? Or maybe the fact that Nikolai could quietly drink in his appearance when they were alone: the sharp, beautiful features of his face, those striking quartz grey eyes, that silky black hair, his tall lean figure? Or maybe it was the knowledge that in those moments, the words he spoke in that smooth, cut-glass voice of his, were meant for only Nikolai?

\---

Then it happened, all at once.

It was a sunny winter afternoon. The snow shimmered lightly as the sun was setting and the air was crispy from the cold. Nikolai was conducting one of his visits. They might have been discussing Fjerda once again, or maybe they had been debating what would be the best way to go about their new planned reformations. Whatever it had been, Aleksander had spent their walk admiring how the setting sun seemed to highlight all of Nikolai’s pleasant features, making his golden-blonde curls and hazel eyes practically glimmer.

“All I’m saying is, please have a little faith, _moi soverenyi_ ,” Nikolai said as they approached the entrance to the Little Palace. The sun was almost gone by then. “After all we’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

“It’s true and I would, _moi tsar_ , but I’d hate to leave anything to faith,” Aleksander answered, stepping inside the Little Palace. They made their way into his study, shed their outerwear and sat down side by side in front of the fireplace.

“What if I asked you to have a little faith in me?” Nikolai asked quietly, his hazel eyes serious.

Aleksander studied the young king for a moment. Nikolai had never before been so vulnerable in his presence. Aleksander felt his heart soften. Maybe that was why he then slowly reached out to first run his fingers through Nikolai’s hair and then to slowly caress his cheek. It felt warm compared to his hand. He noticed Nikolai slightly shuddering at his touch. “I think you should know by now, that I have more than just a little faith in you, _moi tsar_ ,” Aleksander then answered so quietly it was nearly a whisper, letting his hand drop.

Nikolai caught his hand before he could take it back completely, to Aleksander’s surprise. “And how do you suppose I’d know that, _moi soverenyi_?” he asked, not letting go of Aleksander’s hand, holding his gaze. Nikolai’s hand too was warm compared to his.

Aleksander sighed. “You should know that if I found you an incompetent ruler, I’d have no qualms about disposing you, _moi tsar_.” Aleksander then decided to intertwine their fingers tentatively. Nikolai didn’t pull his hand away. Aleksander looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back, not blinking or showing any signs of hesitation.

“I’m not sure I believe you on that one. You’ve served plenty of rulers in the past, competent or otherwise, _moi soverenyi_ ,” Nikolai countered. Aleksander had been honest in his confession, but Nikolai’s claim was also true. Something in Nikolai’s sudden vulnerability made Aleksander’s heart ache. He wanted to assure Nikolai, wanted Nikolai to believe he had meant what he had said.

“Aleksander,” he murmured lowly. “Please call me Aleksander.”

\---

“Aleksander,” Nikolai managed to breathe out, staring into the other man’s piercing quartz eyes and it was his turn to shudder lightly. The knowledge of the Darkling’s true name caused multiple reactions in Nikolai. He was honoured to be worthy of such confidence, he was shaken by the revelation and maybe most of all he wished deeply this would be a beginning to uncover all of the mysterious man’s stories. “Aleksander,” he said now a little more firmly, “I’m still not sure whether to believe you on this one or not.”

Aleksander unclasped their hands. Nikolai felt a twinge of hurt at the absence of his hand, but it didn’t last long because it turned out Aleksander had freed his hand to caress Nikolai’s cheek once more. Nikolai noticed himself leaning into Aleksander’s touch, closer to him. Aleksander sighed again. “What could I do to make you believe me?” he asked. Nikolai didn’t have an answer. Then Aleksander leaned into Nikolai and kissed him.

Nikolai hadn’t known what it was exactly that he needed but as Aleksander’s lips crashed onto his own, it became clear that this was it. Nikolai then cupped Aleksander’s face in his hands and answered with desperation he hadn’t known existed in him. The other man’s lips felt illegally soft against his. He never wanted the kiss to end. As he felt Aleksander’s other hand on his waist he let his hands wander too, first running his fingers through Aleksander’s hair and then moving down his neck to his shoulders and then feeling the hard planes of his chest.

Then Aleksander suddenly stood up pulling Nikolai with him. Even though Nikolai was the taller and broader of the two men he somehow felt smaller as Aleksander’s lips once again ascended on his own and Aleksander’s hands roamed around his body hungrily. Nikolai did his best to return the favour as Aleksander started walking them towards his bedroom. Soon enough Nikolai felt the back of his knees meet the mattress, Aleksander shoving him on his back and Nikolai pulling the other man down with him, flush against his body. Aleksander’s lips then found their way down Nikolai’s throat. “Aleksander,” Nikolai breathed out with the feeling, “Sasha.” He knotted his fingers in Aleksander’s hair, grasping desperately.

\---

Hearing Nikolai call him by his true name then, Aleksander knew he needed to have Nikolai, eventually. “ _Moi tsar_ , Nikolai,” Aleksander answered murmuring against Nikolai’s throat.

\---

As Nikolai dragged Aleksander back up for another kiss, Nikolai’s hands started tugging at his shirt to get it off. Aleksander broke away from the kiss for a brief moment to pull it over his head. When Nikolai used the moment to move on to Aleksander’s trousers all the while drinking in the magnificent sight of his bare torso, Aleksander gently rested his hand on Nikolai’s. “Are you sure?” he asked, even though his grey eyes glinted with apparent hunger.

“Yes,” Nikolai said breathlessly, nodding. Aleksander moved his hand to caress Nikolai’s cheek and Nikolai resumed his work, ridding Aleksander of the rest of his clothes. Nikolai stopped for a second to admire the breathtaking view of the exposed lean muscles of Aleksander’s naked form.

Aleksander chuckled. “You seem to have an awful lot of clothes on compared to me, _moi tsar_ ,” he pointed out, “let me amend that.” And so he set to work, undressing Nikolai while sucking and nibbling each new piece of exposed skin. All Nikolai could do was sigh in pleasure. Once Aleksander was finished Nikolai yanked him back to capture his lips in a heady kiss, Nikolai’s hands trailing along Aleksander’s body.

The other man’s naked body felt unbelievably good against his, but Nikolai wanted, no, _needed_ more. “Please, Sasha,” Nikolai pleaded as Aleksander’s lips found their way back to Nikolai’s neck again, sucking and biting hungrily, and Aleksander’s hand grasped Nikolai’s hard length, stroking it lightly.

Aleksander got on his knees, pulling Nikolai with him to the edge of the bed. “ _Moi tsar_ ,” he said lowly, “let me serve you.” And before Nikolai could respond, Aleksander took Nikolai’s cock in his mouth. Nikolai was moaning now. The sight of the all-powerful Darkling kneeling before him, sucking up and down on his cock was extremely arousing. Then Aleksander inserted a slicked-up finger inside him and Nikolai cried out in pleasure. Nikolai wasn’t inexperienced by any means, but nothing before had ever felt quite so good. Aleksander added two more fingers inside Nikolai, all the while working his cock with his mouth. Nikolai clawed at the bed sheets with one hand and gripped Aleksander’s head with the other, thrashing around and moaning loudly with the pleasure.

Nikolai could feel himself getting close to the peak, but he still wanted more. He wanted to be completely and utterly consumed by Aleksander. “Take me, please,” Nikolai groaned. Aleksander stopped, removing his fingers and giving Nikolai’s cock one last lick as he pulled away. Then he kissed his way back up to Nikolai’s waiting, impatient mouth. They stayed like that for a while, soaking up in kissing and caressing each other, sweaty bodies clinging together.

“Nikolai,” Aleksander whispered softly, running his fingers through the young king’s curls.

“Aleksander,” Nikolai responded, whispering as well, cupping Aleksander’s face in his hands.

“Are you sure you want this?” Aleksander asked one more time, his beautiful quartz eyes filled with lust.

“Yes, I’m ready, please Sasha,” Nikolai pleaded.

And so Aleksander pushed inside Nikolai carefully and slowly, giving Nikolai time to adjust. When he was finally fully inside, Nikolai’s breath hitched. He exhaled, and nodded and Aleksander started moving slowly. Nikolai’s mouth trailed along the column of Aleksander’s neck searching for his lips, desperate to start drinking in his taste again. When it found its destination, Aleksander took Nikolai’s cock in his hand and started pumping it, making Nikolai moan into their kiss.

Aleksander picked up his pace little by little until he was thrusting hard, stroking Nikolai’s cock faster and faster as well and with his free hand exploring Nikolai’s body. Nikolai was drowning in pleasure by then. With one hand Nikolai tangled his fingers in Aleksander’s hair once more and held the man close to him with the other. Aleksander’s lips then descended down his neck, biting and sucking. Soon enough Nikolai was close to reaching the peak again. “Fuck, Aleksander,” Nikolai cried out, “I’m close.”

Aleksander kissed Nikolai and with his other hand took Nikolai’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “Yes Nikolai, that’s it, come for me,” Aleksander urged. That was all it took. Nikolai tumbled over the edge, seeing stars, shouting Aleksander’s name, his orgasm spilling on both of their stomachs. Aleksander followed right behind Nikolai, biting down hard at the junction of Nikolai’s neck and shoulder as he came.

\---

As they came down from their highs, Aleksander pulled away slowly, gathering Nikolai’s body of long strong limbs in his arms. Nikolai snuggled his head against Aleksander’s chest, sated and drowsy, like a little kitten who had just eaten its fill. Aleksander stroked Nikolai’s hair gently.

“ _Moi tsar_ , are you convinced now?” he asked, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Nikolai let out a little laugh. The sound warmed Aleksander’s heart. Then Nikolai rose up to lay his head next to Aleksander’s. Aleksander turned his head to peer into the king’s, _his_ king’s hazel eyes. They were now reflecting Nikolai’s state of satisfaction. And was that affection he glimpsed there too? 

“Yes, I’d say so, _moi soverenyi_ ,” Nikolai responded, “you have impressed me utterly.”

“ _Aleksander_ ,” Aleksander reminded whispering.

“Yes, _Aleksander_ ,” Nikolai repeated.

Aleksander then kissed Nikolai again, this time without the urgency of their earlier kisses. Somehow it felt more sincere than before, real affection surfacing from beneath the lust. It was a feeling Aleksander yearned to hold onto.

\---

They weren’t sure how exactly they had ended up there, laying in each other’s arms whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears until the night swallowed them. How had it begun? Or when?

But as they gazed into each other’s eyes, finding comfort there, they found it didn’t matter.

Despite everything or maybe in spite of everything, they had found each other. And they would hold onto each other, for as long as they possibly could. For evermore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all!
> 
> A couple of notes I want to make:
> 
> 1\. This is my first fic ever and English isn't my first language, so I hope all of this wasn't steaming pile of trash.  
> 2\. I know Aleksander is a real softie in this one, but I couldn't help it! Him and Nikolai are soft boyfriends, that's a fact.
> 
> Also I want to express my endless gratitude for the Starless Sturmhond group chat for inspiring and supporting me. I live to serve at your pleasure.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this read, feedback and comments are the most welcome!


End file.
